


In Theory

by idkspookystuff



Series: theory 'verse [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Breeding, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Drunk confessions, Established Relationship, Implied Mpreg, It's not possible but they talk about it, Light Feminization, M/M, Making Out, Morning Sex, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:40:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27833161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: Ryan learns a few things about his brand new partner that night.1. Shane, despite being a million feet tall, cannot hold his liquor. He’s only a few beers in and he’s already loose-lipped, his hair a mess, and he keeps ranting about how Car Seat Headrest is a revolutionary band that Ryan really should listen to.2. Shane, apparently, has a breeding kink.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: theory 'verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180283
Comments: 35
Kudos: 239
Collections: The Shyan Shipping Society Stories





	In Theory

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is 100% the fault of the Shyan Shipping Society discord. I literally had no choice but to write this. My hands were tied.
> 
> Thank you to everyone in that discord for inspiring this fic and spitballing with me and generally being lovely humans who are just as disgusting as me. And thank you to those who promised me a first born in exchange for this fic. I will be collecting now.
> 
> Thank you to you for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider leaving a comment. They make me happy!
> 
> \- [Is](https://twitter.com/rosegoldphil)
> 
> ps. wrote this entire thing to a car seat headrest album on repeat
> 
> pps. no beta we die like men

Ryan learns a few things about his brand new partner that night.

  1. Shane, despite being a million feet tall, cannot hold his liquor. He’s only a few beers in and he’s already loose-lipped, his hair a mess, and he keeps ranting about how Car Seat Headrest is a revolutionary band that Ryan really should listen to.
  2. Shane, apparently, has a breeding kink.



Ryan starts it, like he does most things. Shane’s laying with his head in Ryan’s lap, both of them nursing a third or fourth beer, Ryan’s fingers brushing through Shane’s hair. Shane leans into the touch a little and Ryan says, “what’s your weirdest kink?”

“Krampus roleplay,” Shane answers immediately.

Ryan snorts, the memory of Shane dressed in a ridiculous costume, complete with horns, still fresh in his mind. “I’m being serious, Ryan,” Shane says. “Nothing gets me hot and bothered like a devil man stuffing me in a sack and bringing me to his lair on  _ Krampusnacht _ .”

“You’re stupid,” Ryan retorts, but he’s smiling so wide he doubts Shane believes it. Shane sits up and leans over Ryan to connect their lips. It’s still a bit invigorating, being able to kiss him like this, after so many years of hopeless pining. It’s a nice addition to their relationship that, honestly, isn’t too different from their friendship. 

Shane pulls back to lean their foreheads together, rests his palm against Ryan’s cheek. Ryan turns into the warmth, kisses Shane’s hand, and Shane asks, “why do you want to know?”

Ryan shrugs. “I don’t know,” he answers. “I want to know everything about you.”

Shane’s eyes turn soft and fond. “Ry,” he says, and kisses him again. Ryan pulls him closer to slip his tongue into Shane’s mouth. He tastes like beer and pizza, but it’s so good that Ryan doesn’t care. He climbs into Shane’s lap and Shane gets his hands on Ryan’s hips and squeezes hard. When Ryan pulls back to breathe, Shane says, “breeding.”

It’s such a non-sequitur that it sends Ryan offline. “Huh?” he asks.

“Breeding,” Shane says. Ryan wants to call him on his bullshit, but he looks so earnest and open and - holy shit. He’s actually fucking into this, isn’t he? “It’s gross, I know.”

Ryan wants to say a lot of things. He has a lot of questions. He wants to reassure Shane that he isn't gross. But he can tell Shane feels uncomfortable and he’s a little too drunk for deep thinking right now. He kisses Shane again, and they make out until the thought leaves both their heads.

That night, as they’re laying curled up together in Ryan’s bed, Shane spooning Ryan, Shane’s hands come up to Ryan’s stomach. He doesn’t exactly rub Ryan’s stomach, but his thumb traces patterns back and forth and Ryan’s head spins so hard that he finds it difficult to sleep.

The next morning, after Ryan gets back from a jog in an attempt to cure his hangover and after Shane has popped too much aspirin and has drunk enough coffee to fuel a small village, Ryan says, “so we should talk about it.”

Shane looks over at Ryan from across the kitchen island, where he’s going to town on some scrambled eggs. “The new show?” Shane asks. “I mean, I think it’s a great idea. Maybe we could find a way to involve sponsors, but we’d have to talk to the rest of the team about it, obviously.”

“What?” Ryan asks. “Not about the show. About what you said last night.”

“What I said last night?” Shane says. His eyes flicker down to his eggs, and he moves them to a neat pile with his fork. “I don’t remember,” except obviously he does, if the way he’s turned bright red is anything to go by.

“The kink thing,” Ryan says. When Shane doesn’t answer, he elaborates. “The breeding thing?”

“Oh,” Shane answers. He scoops a solid heaping of eggs into his mouth and says, “you remember that?”

Ryan leans across the island so that they’re closer and together and answers, “Well it’s not like I could forget.”

Shane sighs. “We don’t have to do anything about it, Ry. You asked what my weirdest kink was, I answered. So.” He sips his coffee and then says, “so anyway, I was thinking we could contact State Farm. I know Steven’s al-”

“I want you to tell me about it,” Ryan interrupts.

Shane looks up at him and takes a very slow sip of his coffee. “The State Farm thing or-”

“No,” Ryan says. “Well, I mean, yes, that sounds like a good idea that we should talk about. But I meant the breeding thing.”

“Oh,” Shane answers. “Well. What about it?” 

“What would you wanna do? Like, in theory,” Ryan asks. He feels his own cheeks heat up. It’s such a stupid thing, he should be able to talk to his boyfriend about kinks without feeling like a fucking virgin.

“Don’t freak out,” Shane says, which is never a great way to start a sentence. “In theory, I’d have you in bed, or against a wall, or just-” he motions to Ryan, “-over a counter. Inside you, you know. Get a hand on your belly and tell you how much I want to fuck you pregnant. Have you beg for my cum. Come inside you and push it back in so none of it spills out. Stuff like that.”

Ryan’s mouth goes dry and his cock goes from soft to hard so fast that it drains all the blood from his head and makes him a little dizzy.  _ Welp _ , he thinks.  _ That’s one way to discover a new kink _ .

“Yeah?” Ryan asks. His voice drops a bit and Shane gives him a look. “You want me desperate for it?”

“Ryan,” Shane breathes.

“You wanna get me pregnant Shane?” Ryan asks. “Right here in my kitchen? Where Danny and Roland could walk in at any second and see you knocking me up?”

Shane stands and, in a few quick steps, gets Ryan pinned face down against the counter. “Wait,” he says even as he grabs Ryan’s wrists and pins them behind his back with one big hand. “Danny and Roland aren’t  _ actually _ gonna walk in on us, right?”

Ryan looks to the side like he’s considering it. “What time is it?”

Shane looks over to the oven clock. “9:30.”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Dude, they’re not gonna get up until 1PM at  _ least _ . We’re so fucking good.”

“In that case.” Shane pushes Ryan into the counter harder and pulls down his sweats. He rubs Ryan’s cockhead through his boxers. “Your clit is so hard for me, baby girl.”

Ryan’s cock throbs in his underwear, and if he’s discovered this many kinks in the short time he’s been dating Shane, he can’t even imagine the kink list he’s gonna have in five years. “Shane,” he whines. “Please. Please fuck me.”

Shane pulls Ryan’s boxers down and they pool at his ankles. “Fuck,” Shane says, his head against Ryan’s shoulder. “I have to go get the lube.” 

Ryan drops his head against the counter. “Third drawer on the left.” 

“Third drawer on the-” Shane opens the drawer and pulls out a bottle of lube. “This further confirms my theory that all frat houses are secretly orgy houses and the three of you just clean up when I’m around. One day I’ll find the prostitutes.”

Ryan laughs. “Where are we keeping them?”

“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find them and free them.” Shane pours the lube on his fingers and rubs them against Ryan’s hole. Ryan jolts and Shane rubs a hand between his shoulder blades. “Just me, baby.” He pushes two fingers in and leads forward to kiss Ryan’s back. “Gotta get you nice and open so I can fuck my cum into you.”

Ryan feels a full body shudder roll through him. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Not quite,” Shane mutters. He scissors Ryan open on two of his fingers, and then adds a third. He presses it against Ryan’s prostate and rubs in small circles that feel like torture. Ryan feels half like coming and half like crying.

“Shane,” he whines. “Shane, please. Stop teasing.”

“Hm, I don’t know,” Shane answers. He’s rather cocky for someone who, no more than twenty minutes ago, looked like he wanted to disappear into a plate of eggs. Ryan would comment on it if he had more than a single brain cell right now. He leans forward so Ryan feels Shane’s breath against his ear, and whispers soft and low, “beg for it.”

The dam breaks. “Oh please,” Ryan begs. “Oh please, please fuck me. Please fuck me hard and come inside me and-and-”

Shane presses against Ryan’s prostate harder. “Use your words, baby boy.”

“-and knock me up,” Ryan finishes. “Please, want it so bad, please, Shane.”

“Wow,” Shane whispers. His fingers stop moving.

Ryan feels his face heat up even more, if possible. “Too much?”

“No, no,” Shane answers. He pulls his fingers out and presses a gentle kiss to the skin behind Ryan’s ear. “You’re fucking perfect.” He pours lube on his cock and presses it against Ryan’s hole. “Ready?” he asks.

Ryan nods quickly. Shane pushes into him slowly, and even with the amount of times they’ve done this in the past few weeks, Ryan still can’t get over how big his cock is. “God,” Shane says when he’s all the way in. “You’re so fucking tight, always. A blessing, is what you are.”

He starts fucking Ryan slowly, keeps Ryan pressed against the counter with a gentle hand at the bottom of Ryan’s back. Ryan, ever competitive, even in and especially in sex, goads him. “That all you got?” Ryan asks. “You think you’re gonna get me pregnant like that?” He squeezes around Shane’s cock and adds, “might have to get someone else to knock me up instead.”

All the air leaves Shane’s body in a woosh. His hips snap forward on their own accord, and then he goes for it, fucking Ryan in earnest, every thrust sending Ryan’s body further against the counter. Ryan’s fingers scramble for purchase, but find nothing. “You’re mine, Ryan,” Shane says. He gathers Ryan’s wrists and pins them against his back. “No one else’s.”

Ryan gasps against the cool material of the counter. “Please,” he whispers. “Please.”

“And everyone’s gonna know,” Shane continues. He gets a hand under Ryan’s shirt and leaves it burning hot on Ryan’s stomach. “Big round tummy, full of me. Let everyone know what I did to you. What you let me do to you. How you let me bend you over the counter with your roomates home and fuck you so good that I left you a parting gift.”

“Shane,” Ryan gasps. He throws his hair back and Shane gathers it with his free hand, pulls Ryan’s head back.

“You like that?” Shane asks. He drops his hand from Ryan’s hair to reach under Ryan’s shirt again. He gets his hand on Ryan’s pec and squeezes it. “Your tits are gonna get so big and milky for me. So uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll have to suck ‘em dry so they don’t leak all over the place, huh?” He fucks Ryan harder and leans in to whisper in his ear. “Or maybe you want them to leak. Maybe you wanna ruin all your shirts, let people see your creamy tits and know how much of a slut you are.”

Ryan’s whole body feels like it’s thrumming. He’s so close, and no one’s even touched his cock yet. “Shane, Shane, touch me, please, I’m so close.”

“That’s the best part of it,” Shane says. He doesn’t touch Ryan’s cock, but he angles his own so that it’s hitting Ryan’s prostate on every brutal thrust. “That you’re gagging for it. You want my cum inside you so bad, don’t you baby? Wanna be big and fat with my baby, so big you can’t even walk.” He leans in close. “And after you pop, I’m gonna knock you up again and again and again, so that you’re never not pregnant again.”

Shane thumbs Ryan’s nipples and that’s it, Ryan comes hard without anyone even touching him. It spills out against the counter, and he reaches his hand back to work himself through the aftershocks. He’s shaking with how hard he just came as Shane pulls his hips back and fucks him hard. 

“You close?” Ryan asks when his brain comes back online a bit. Shane doesn’t answer, but the way he’s panting in Ryan’s ear is answer enough. “Do it. Come inside me. Knock me up. Cream my pussy.”

Shane’s hips stutter and he comes deep inside Ryan. Ryan can feel Shane’s cock throb inside him and it’s so much. Almost enough to get him pregnant for real. For a brief second, he considers it. Puts his hand on his stomach gently and imagines carrying someone who’s half him and half Shane. Weirdly, it’s not a bad thought.

Shane pulls out and Ryan feels his cum drip out of him. “Better push it back in,” Ryan says, his voice hoarse. “You know. To knock me up.”

Shane laughs. “Jesus, Ryan. You’re gonna be the death of me. C’mere.” He pulls Ryan up and into a hug, which Ryan sinks into. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of Ryan’s head. “Thank you.”

Ryan takes a look around the kitchen. There’s cum on the counter, their clothes are scattered on the floor, and there are unfinished eggs in front of them. “We should probably clean up.”

“Yeah,” Shane replies. “Probably.”

Neither of them make an effort to move. I love you is on the tip of Ryan’s tongue, but he doesn’t do anything about that either. Not yet.

They’ll do both. Soon.


End file.
